


Living Without You

by Stella_Elliot



Series: Stella's Songfics and One-shots [3]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inspired by Music, M/M, Might change the tags, i need to get this out of my system
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25606891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stella_Elliot/pseuds/Stella_Elliot
Summary: Grian decides moving on is what's best for him.Mumbo was faced with the harsh reality of living in a world without Grian in it.
Relationships: Mumbo Jumbo/Grian
Series: Stella's Songfics and One-shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828114
Comments: 10
Kudos: 77





	1. All We'd Ever Need

**Author's Note:**

> All We'd Ever Need by Lady A

“Grian, are you sure about this?”

“I am.”

“Before you go,” Xisuma smiled sadly, “You can always come back if you want to, and it was an honor to work alongside you.”

“Thanks, X. I can say the same for you.”

The builder shook hands with the admin, trying to engrave the details of Hermitcraft into his memories. It would be a while before he could bring himself to return to this place.

With that final gesture, Xisuma opened his admin panel and clicked at the command that never fails to break his heart.

_Grian has left the game._

* * *

_Boy it's been all this time,_

_  
And I can't get you off my mind,_

_  
And nobody knows it but me._

* * *

“Hey Mumbo!”

A familiar Swedish voice jerked him out of his thoughts. Mumbo quickly turned around to see Iskall flying towards him, pasting a fake smile on his face as the swede landed right beside him.

“Checking on your robot son I see?”

“Yep.” He shifted his attention back to Grumbot, who still happily lives inside his own reality. “I do have to check on him once in a while. Normally it would be Grian doing this but…”

“Hey, I get it.” Iskall agreed comfortingly. “I couldn’t help but wonder what Grian is doing at this moment though. That man has no shortage of creativity I swear.”

If you listen closely enough, you can hear Mumbo’s heart cracking ever-so-slowly at the thought. It has been a year since his best friend has left Hermitcraft. There was no goodbye, no notification, or any form of message that he was leaving.

Mumbo only realized that he was gone when he noticed that his beloved companion has left after a week of pure silence in the server.

_A week._

_Could’ve done a better job than that._

And it was his fault that the builder has left.

_Some best friend he is._

_And to think that he wished to be something more._

* * *

I stare at your photograph,

  
Still sleep in the shirt you left,

  
And nobody knows it but me.

* * *

As a storm raged outside in the night, Mumbo held a familiar red sweater closer. He wasn’t of the thunderstorm outside, but rather, he has never felt so alone before and he can’t help but wonder if this is how Grian felt.

He desperately clung onto the sweater for months after Grian had left, its scent slowly fading with time. The thought of having to forget Grian breaks his heart even more, his memory of the man slowly becoming more blurry as time goes by. His smile, his freckles, and the way his eyes twinkle at when he talks so passionate about building will one day become nothing more but a forgotten memory.

But everyday he wiped his tears away.

So many nights he prayed for a chance to say—

“I should’ve been chasing you. I should’ve been trying to prove that you were all that mattered me.” Mumbo cried, clutching the sweater closer as the rain got heavier, muffling his cries. “I should’ve said all the things that I kept inside of me, and maybe I could’ve made you believe.”

“That what we had, was all we’d ever need.”

* * *

My friends think I'm moving on,  
  


But the truth is that I'm not that strong

And nobody knows it but me.

* * *

He always steps out of his base looking completely fine.

Like he didn’t just cried his heart out for hours and hours on end.

But no matter what he does, his mind will always wander back to Grian.

“—umbo? Mumbo?”

He blinked out of his thoughts, finally noticing the concerned looks from his friends. “I—uh… yes?”

“Are you alright Mumbo? You kind of--,” Xisuma paused for a moment, choosing his words wisely. “Spaced out.”

_Absolutely not._

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just didn’t get enough sleep last night, do you mind me if I go ahead?” He gritted through his teeth.

“Well no but—“

“I’ll be off then guys!” Mumbo quickly got up to his feet and left the meeting room without another word and without anybody bothering to try stopping him.

The admin at the head of the table let out a sigh as he fell back onto his chair. Even though it was Grian’s choice that he chose to leave, he couldn’t help but feel a tug of guilt every time he sees how much it broke Mumbo.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” Stress piped up, finally breaking the tense atmosphere that settled within the group. None of them knew what to do with the Redstone engineer, they all knew for a fact that no one can replace Grian in his heart. “Any news from Grian? It’s been a year already.”

The admin shook his head, “Nothing from Grian. And as much as we all want to help Mumbo, at this point in time, the only person that can help him is himself.”

* * *

_But if you’re happy_

_I’ll get through somehow_

_But the truth is I kept_

_Screaming out_

* * *

“He should’ve chased me, or at least tried to prove,” Grian mumbled to himself. “That I mattered to him even if it’s not that much.”

“Maybe he could’ve just said all the things, that he kept inside. And maybe he could’ve made me believe—

That what we had, was all I’d ever need.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna part 2?
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this fic even though it is mostly fueled by the darkness and angst running in my veins at the moment. I just really needed to get this out of my system *Nervous laugh*  
> Anyways, I hope you loved it and let me know if you want a part 2!
> 
> Love, Stella<3
> 
> P.s This chapter has been reposted


	2. As You Turn Away

**Song: As You Turn Away**

**Different Format From My Other Song Fics**

**Bold Text=Song Lyrics**

**For Full Effect, listen to the song afterwards (or before,or during... you decide)**

**P.s I did have to change some of the lyrics**

**Enjoy!**

Xisuma placed down the last block, finally finishing another road extension as he let out a sigh of relief. He should get some rest at last.

He was about to fly off when he felt his com vibrate in his pocket. Curiously, he took it out and was shocked to see the name that appeared on his screen.

_[Grian] Hello Ex-eye-sumavoid:)_

“Please Xisuma let me go after him!”

“I told you already, Mumbo. I can’t risk it, it’s too dangerous!”

“But letting people leave isn’t?!”

Xisuma sighed in exasperation, “Worlds are like doors, Mumbo. When you enter or leave, the door _needs_ to remain closed afterwards. Leaving it opened lets in the possibility of Hermitcraft getting corrupted or others getting in, which we don’t want. And if that door closes, Mumbo, you’re going to be stuck on the other side with no way of bringing you back.” He turned to leave, wanting to cut this discussion short.

Mumbo reached out and grabbed him by his wrist and fell onto his knees. “Please X,” he begged, “I-I just want to apologize to him.”

“Goodness me—Mumbo please get up!” The admin urged the engineer, “You still need your dignity!”

Mumbo refused, still knelt before Xisuma. Who cares about his dignity? He wanted one thing and one thing only. “Please just—let me see him. Even if it’s just for a moment.”

Pity tugged Xisuma’s heart seeing one of his dearest friends being this desperate. He has watched Mumbo for months and months just constantly beating himself up, and ever since Grian has left, he has never seen a genuine smile of happiness on his face; instead, it was replaced by one laced with sadness and pain. And perhaps this was his chance to change that.

“Okay.”

* * *

Grian closed the door behind him, ready to hop into another world yet again. He has become into some sort of nomad for the past few months; moving into a brand new world, building whatever his heart desires, and leaving it yet again for other people to enjoy. Nothing was permanent for him, but he was happy.

He took one last look on his house that he has occupied for three months, he’ll be lying when he said that he won’t miss this world. This particular one was for sure one of his favourites.

“Grian?”

He froze.

He could recognize that voice anywhere.

**Start Playing Song Here**

He turned around to see the one and only, Mumbo Jumbo.

“W-What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be—“

His ranting was cut off by a spine-crushing hug from the taller man, and for a moment, he wasn’t sure what to do.

Sobs racked through Mumbo’s body as he held Grian in his arms. _Finally._

“I love you,’ He sobbed, “I’m sorry I didn’t realize it soon enough.”

Grian pulled away, “Oh Mumby,” he smiled sadly, “Why are you always so late?”

Mumbo’s heart sank as Grian stepped away from him. “What do you mean?”

“ **Standing here face to face, wrapped in your embrace** ,” Grian said shakily, tears threatening to spill, “ **I didn’t want to let you go. But you were already gone**.”

“But I’m here now, Grian.” Mumbo took another step towards Grian but stopping quickly when Grian stepped away from him further. “Please, just come home.”

“ **Now you’ve come to me. This is soft and bittersweet, but saw the look in your eyes** ,” Grian wiped a tear rolling down his face, as he thought back to their last encounter. “ **I thought last time was our goodbye**.”

“Grian please I am so sorry—.”

He held up a hand, “ **There’s nothing more to say and nothing left to break. I was reaching out for you, as you turned away**.”

Call it Karma or Irony, it was Grian’s turn as he turned away from Mumbo, ready to head back inside and cry his heart out.

But Mumbo was having none of it.

Mumbo reached out and grabbed him by his hand forcing Grian to stop. “Please Grian, at least come back to Hermitcraft with me. At least let me be your friend.”

“ **Let go of my hand**.” Grian mumbled, trying to tear himself out of Mumbo’s grasp. “ **So I can feel again, we both know nothing’s gonna hurt as much as this final touch**.”

Mumbo’s grasp loosened at his words and pulled his hand back. “ **And no we can’t be friends** ,” Grian continued, “ **I don’t I could take seeing you knowing where we’ve been. I hope you understand**.”

“But what about me?” Mumbo choked, praying that Grian will stay.

Even though he didn’t.

“You’ve lived without me before Mumbo, I’m sure you can do it again.” Grian smiled sadly “I’m happy here, with my builds and leaving them for people. They kinda act like a treasure hunt for them and a lesson for me. If you love me Mumbo, please let me go.”

**_One step my heart is breaking_ ** _._

He wrapped his arms around himself.

**_One more my hands are shaking._ **

He started to walk back to his house.

**_The door is closing_ **

He reached out for the doorknob—

**_And I just can’t change it_ ** _._

“I’m going to tell Xisuma to take you back.” Grian mumbled.

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

“Goodbye Mumby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys were so supportive last chapter so here it is!
> 
> It is not the end.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this one. If not due to heartbreak, well, I'm sorry.
> 
> If cuz' it sucked, understandable and I'm sorry as well.
> 
> Either way, Thanks guy!<3
> 
> Love, Stella


	3. No Right to Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No Right to Love You by Rhys Lewis

**Day breaks and when I turn** **  
You're not on my pillow  
My head shakes and then the penny drops**

* * *

Life continues on whether you like it or not.

That was the lesson he learned as he knelt on the ground, heartbroken. He got his answer from Grian himself. A very clear one.

Xisuma and Iskall came sprinting to him and gently assisted him back to his base. They both stayed there for a few days, comforting Mumbo as much as he would let them. At first, he limited his tears around his friends, but a person can only bottle such pain for so long, and he soon broke.

That was a year ago.

* * *

**Still your t-shirt on my chair** **  
Pencilled hearts on paper  
I try not to think but I can't stop**

* * *

But today, the sun shines bright above Hermitcraft.

Mumbo was in his base, dressing himself into a new suit to start the day. Today will be dedicated to nothing but technical projects and redstone. He hasn’t done it in a while and it would be a good way to wind down. Settling once and a while back into your comfort zone does wonders.

He started to pack materials into his shulker box. Redstone dusts, blocks, observers, pistons, you name it. Mumbo’s not entirely sure on what he’s going to build, but he’s sure it’ll come to him.

He grabbed his notebook filled to the brim with random drawings of potential projects and circuits, with pieces of its pages fluttering down onto the floor. Mumbo let out a sigh and knelt to pick them all up.

Slipping the drawings in between random pages, he brushed himself off as he stood back up, finally ready to leave. When a familiar bright red sweater caught his eye.

There, draped across a chair in the far corner of the room, was the abandoned red sweater Grian used to wear. He has stopped sobbing into it at night, but he still sheds a tear every now and then. But can you really blame him? Grian will always have a special place in his heart.

He smiled to himself softly and took the sweater with him. Then, he was off.

* * *

**Time pushed me to the edge** **  
To jump was my decision  
I've only got myself to blame**

* * *

Mumbo sat on the grassy plains on top of his base, right in front of the hanging golden heart, with a half-eaten apple in one hand and a pencil in the other. His jacket was long discarded and his undershirt is stained with the glow of redstone dust.

He’s been brainstorming ideas all morning but still nothing. A bunch of discarded contraptions, pages of drawings, and a lot of head-scratching later, he was still drawing a blank!

He let out a groan of frustration before falling backwards and laying fully against the grass. This completely ruins the point of trying to become productive today!

His gaze travelled once again to the bright red sweater on his lap. At times like these, he really wished that Grian was here to spur something creative in him. That man seemed to never run out of something amazing to create.

“Mumbo!” A distant voice called out for him.

He sat back up and was greeted by Iskall flying around his base, “Iskall!” He greeted back in surprise, “What bring you here circling around my base?”

The Swede landed onto the grass beside him and offered him a hand, “Have you forgotten—“ Mumbo gratefully took his hand and stood back up to his feet,”—Our MCC representatives are coming home today and Xisuma wants us to be there!”

Mumbo was baffled at the realization, “Oh my word—I am so sorry! I just lost track of time and—”

“No need to apologize,” Iskall interrupted, waving him off. “I’m just glad I came to fetch you! Now get your elytra and we’re heading over to the shopping district!”

* * *

**You know I care, but I can't be there** **  
To make this unmade bed of roses  
And you deserve to be put first  
I had to let you go**

* * *

Everyone was already gathered around the Main Hall Nether portal, excited to see how did their fellow hermits faired during the competition.

“Alright everybody settle down!” The crowd died down in reply to Xisuma. “They’re supposed to be back in around—“

Xisuma was cut off by the sound of the portal whirring and Rendog was the first to appear. “What is up cyberdogs?”

The crowd immediately swarmed hin, tackling Rendog in a hug. Then not long after, False appeared right beside him, who was also quickly swallowed by the crowd.

False then pressed a finger against her lips and the noise evaporated into silence. “Look, everyone we have a surprise!” She announced. On cue, the nether portal whirred once again before another person stepped out.

Hermitcraft stood still for a moment, in awe of seeing their old comrade after so long.

Grian smiled brightly, “Hey guys!”

“GRIAN!”

* * *

**I have no right to love you** **  
When I chose to walk away  
I have no right to miss you  
When I didn't wanna stay**

* * *

The Hermits threw a huge party that night.

It was horribly unplanned, but the success of their friends and the return of their long lost comrade, they decided it was well worth it.

They threw it at the shopping district and generously sponsored by Mayor Scar. The Hermits allowed themselves to let loose and get wasted, and boy was it a sight to see!

An ill-decisioned drinking contest was happening between Beef, Keralis, Bdubs, and Doc. Which concluded with Bdubs laying on the ground face first, still clutching bottle of beer and False poking him to see if he was still alive.

Poor Keralis has a black-eye from Beef punching him in the face, and Keralis punching right back and breaking his nose. Everyone knows that’s going to be one hell of a regret once the alcohol gets flushed.

While Doc just laughed as he remained victorious.

Xisuma was having hiccups from all the alcohol and his helmet was long gone, a dangerous move but he’s not sure whether he’s in the right mind at the moment to care. He doesn’t really drink much but he thought this was to be an exemption; and he wasn’t really drunk! Being away from alcohol does weird stuff to you and to him, it was hiccups. And only got worse after Tango scared the living daylights out of him after giving him a jumpscare by popping out of a random bush!

And now Tango is being scolded by a very-much-also-drunk Impulse.

Some of the hermits have fallen asleep on random places, like Scar who has fallen asleep _on top_ of the jobs board. Nobody knows how he got there or how he managed to sleep there.

Grian has peeled away from all the chaos after the party started to get more— _infused_ with alcohol. He never really drinks. He preferred to have a clean mind, especially now he’s back to Hermitcraft.

He sneaked away and hid where Mount Scarmore stood. Letting out a sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair. Man, he wasn’t used to being so many people at once! Well— he did compete in MCC but it was being around your actual friends and having to mingle with them is something different.

Grian glanced around him taking in his surroundings. To his surprise, there was a familiar moustached man that sat in one of the benches.

* * *

**And I have no right to need you**   
**And I knew what my heart was gonna lose**

* * *

Mumbo continued to look at the stars above Hermitcraft. Crowds and drinks were never really his thing and he preferred to be alone with his thoughts and the stars above.

Although admittedly, there was only one thought running through his head.

* * *

**To ask if you're okay** **  
When I left you so confused**

* * *

Grian lets himself smile softly at the recognition. It seems like Mumbo hasn’t noticed him yet, too engrossed in his thoughts. Classic Mumbo.

* * *

**I have no right to love you**

* * *

Mumbo continued to think about Grian. Actually, there hasn’t been a day when he wasn’t. This was it, Grian scored his heart. But sadly, he lost his chance.

_He has no right to love hi—_

“Hey Mumby.”

Mumbo snapped out of his thoughts. And there, right in front of him, was Grian.

_He has no right—_

The crown on his head was obviously too big as one side of it droops down and nearly covers his eye. He still wore his same signature sweater, although not the original one. And he still has that sparkle in his eye that Mumbo only realized he missed when Grian was finally gone. “How have you been?” Grian asked.

_He has no right to love him…_

Finally, Mumbo smiled, “Hello Grian.”

_But he does._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the ending!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this even though it has been fairly short and a bit rough around the edges. I hope there's a few tears shed as well cuz' this costs me a lot of tears-
> 
> But seriously though, I hope you all enjoyed and thank you for the support!
> 
> Love, Stella<3

**Author's Note:**

> Wanna part 2?
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this fic even though it is mostly fueled by the darkness and angst running in my veins at the moment. I just really needed to get this out of my system *Nervous laugh*
> 
> Anyways, I hope you loved it and let me know if you want a part 2!
> 
> Love, Stella <3


End file.
